It happens every year. Every year, on a sunny day in March thoughts turn to actual summertime in this country and all the unreliability it brings. Three months with few guarantees. Can you bank on actual warm weather? No. Ok, but surely it won't lash down monsoon style on the day of your sister's wedding mid August? Or for that outdoor cinema screening you've been looking forward to? Oh dear. Even your optimism thinks you're a chump.
And yet every year it's the same story. Which brings me to my annual unwavering optimism for the dog days and beyond. That this year, the teaser trailers for the big summer blockbusters that have got the fangirl in me giddy at the thought of all those robots, aliens, car explosions and good triumphing evil will actually come good on their promise and be fucking jawdroppingly amazing! Despite plenty of disappointment in prior years, I'm looking at you Green Lantern and don't even get me started on the sack of shit that was 2010's blockbuster offerings I always think: this year it's going to be different.
But this time I'm convinced that my brain is going to be proved right, at least to a degree, because 2012 has two bad boys in the arsenal: The Dark Knight Rises and Prometheus.
Did someone say hype? I know, I know, but let's break it down.
Christopher Nolan has given us some wonderful films
I know there will be those who disagree but I personally rate Nolan. Memento, Inception, Batman Begins and Dark Knight ( I'm aware that I'm conveniently forgetting The Prestige. Pedants). His films are full of visual spectacle and tension, beautifully crafted moments of tension. Despite the studio system machine somehow his artistic identity is strong and his films remain distinctive. He is part of a small, but important movement towards intelligent blockbusters and franchises that don't suck balls after the first installment.
Tom Hardy
My love for this man runs deep. He is such an exciting and powerful actor. From his earliest work he has always laced his performances with originality and I cannot wait to see what he does with Bane, I reckon it's going to take menace to a whole new level. I credit a fair amount of his acting capabilities to the fact that he is mad as a box of frogs and is evidently holding down at least two personalities in interviews, so when that meets Batman himself, good ol' emotionally stable and normal as shit Christian Bale you can't tell me sparks aren't going to fly!
All Bets Are Off
It's the last one so anything can happen. Anyone can die; plot can go anyway they choose. Resolution? Or unanswered questions? We have to just wait and see. Or surmise and speculate on the Internet like everybody else.
Which brings me to Prometheus...
Alien prequel don't fail me now
Ridley Owes us a Hit
Remember 2010's Robin Hood? You know the box office smash about that famous Irish/Jamaican accented man who robbed from the rich to give to the poor? Gladiator, it was not. Let's go back a little bit further to Kingdom of Heaven... and don't get me wrong Matchstick Men was great but really we are talking about Black Hawk Down: The last bastion of his big budget brilliance. Until Now? Here's hoping. Eeeeeek!
A Cast of Grown ups
Not a teenager in sight, how refreshing is that? No faceless 20 something himbos and bimbos but an interesting and talented cast. Some great British talent on show too.
It's Going to Have Big Fuckoff Spaceships
And ALIENS and Androids and Scary bits and ATMOSPHERE, and Guy Pearce is so cool and the trailer looks friggin' awesome and I miss BSG, and, and..
Annnnnnd the fangirl is back in the room.
So it's down to them to save me from that bitter, blockbuster disappoint come rainy September. At the very least their presence will help to divert our attention from such future classics as Men In Black III and GI Joe: Retaliation neither of which are made up by me for entertainment purposes here today, they are both happening. As is a remake of Total Recall and a Bourne film with no Bourne...
Lucky us.
