I'm a Batman fan. Have been since the very first time I picked up a Batman comic in my grubby paws. My old man used to rent videos (yup, no DVDs or torrentz back then) of the 1960′s Batman animated show. He even went out and found me a copy of Batman 500 (the one where Bane breaks Batman's back) with a foil cover. In South Africa, that's not easy. Anyway, I'm a huge Batman fan. You wanna make me happy buy me something relating to Batman. Easy as that. I love everything Batman. Well, almost.
As much as I've tried, I just can't get behind Chris Nolan's Batman. In fact, this latest trilogy has been a complete waste of time and money and here's why…
1. The Rogue's Gallery:
Gotham City is without doubt home to the craziest range of villains in the DC Universe…but we get two movies with Ra's Al Ghul. Ugh.Besides the Joker, the Penguin, the Riddler and Catwoman (don't get me started on Anne Hathaway), there's Killer Croc, Scarface, the Mad Hatter, Poison Ivy, Dr Freeze, Solomon Grundy, Clayface, Harley Quinn… Holy hell, Harley Quinn should have been movie number 3′s main villain. Get her to bring Bane in to finish off the Batman. Can you imagine the cliffhanger for movie 2? A sobbing Harley Quinn vowing vengeance through her tears? Goosebumps.
2. The lack of vision:
There's precious little binding this trilogy together, outside of the protagonist. In fact, for a trilogy it's rather disjointed. With the end of each episode, I never felt that sense of "OMFG! I can't wait to see what happens next". Oh sure, Batman is descending into some kind of serious depression/madness/meltdown but really who cares? At least with Tim Burton's Batman you felt like you were watching a more mature version of the cartoon. Apparently, with Nolan's movies, we're exploring Batman's psyche. Seriously? Come on, now. Batman does what he does because he's damaged goods. Seeing your parents being gunned down will do that. That's all we need to know. How many more times can we show his origin story? And if we have to dedicate an entire movie to telling how Batman came about, could we at least get 4 movies?
3. The limited scope:
Arkham City. Arkham Asylum. Those two games are more riveting in terms of plot and vision than these movies have ever been. Sure, they're punchfests, but there's a storyline that rivals any Batman comic book, game or movie in them. And remember what I mentioned in point 2 about Harley Quinn? Well, she's seeking vengeance in the new DLC. Check this out:
And that's just a game. See, Nolan? See what you missed out on?
4. Christian Bale:
He simply isn't Batman. He's a great actor (he was good in The Prestige – even though Michael Caine outacted him there) but he's not convincing in this role. In fact, he's even worse than Val Kilmer…and that's saying something. Michael Caine's limited screen time puts Bale in a corner again. Ditto Morgan Freeman. The second movie was all Heath Ledger. For my money, Bale is hopelessly miscast here. Better they should have CGI'd him and had Diederich Bader do the voice.
5. The JLA:
This is my biggest issue. With this set of movies, yet another opportunity slips away to fire up the JLA. This entire storyline happens in a bubble. It's finite. So when it ends, it ends, and that means no mention of the rest of the DC Universe and no chance of there being a spinoff. No, it's not a hindsight post-Avengers thing. It's a "Why have you never done this before?" thing. The Avengers were created after the JLA. The JLA has 6 of the world's most recognisable superheroes in it: Batman, Aquaman, The Flash, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern and….wait for it…Superman: the icon, the one hero who is part of the global zeitgeist. AND STILL THERE'S NOT EVEN THE SUGGESTION OF A MOVIE! WTF?
There are other reasons but these are the top 5. I'm seriously underwhelmed by the entire movie franchise and quite frankly, I don't even know if I'm going to watch the last instalment in the cinema…or at all, especially after watching Marvel and Disney's master-class on how to make the ultimate superhero movie. I think maybe I'll stick to watching reruns of the Tim Burton flicks until whoever's in charge of these damned things pulls their heads out of their collective asses and makes a real decision.
